Those Phrases given by A Father Which Saved Us when I became a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was just just surviving for the first year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey expected to manage the difficulties of becoming a dad.

But the actual experience quickly proved to be "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver while also taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of mother and father," Ryan shared.

After eleven months he reached burnout. It was a chat with his own dad, on a park bench, that made him realise he needed help.

The straightforward words "You aren't in a healthy space. You need assistance. What can I do to help you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and start recovering.

His situation is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. Although people is now better used to discussing the pressure on mums and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to request support'

Ryan believes his challenges are linked to a larger inability to communicate amongst men, who still hold onto damaging ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and remains standing time and again."

"It's not a sign of failure to seek help. I didn't do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not justified to be asking for help" - particularly in preference to a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental well-being is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the chance to take a respite - taking a short trip overseas, outside of the family home, to gain perspective.

He realised he needed to make a change to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the day-to-day duties of taking care of a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now writing Leo regular notes about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he gets older.

Ryan believes these will help his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotional life and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male guidance. Despite having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions led him to make "terrible choices" when he was younger to change how he was feeling, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as a way out from the anguish.

"You find your way to things that don't help," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a New Dad

• Open up to someone - if you feel under pressure, tell a friend, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the activities that allowed you to feel like the person you were before having a baby. It could be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the body - eating well, getting some exercise and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mind is coping.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their experiences, the difficult parts, along with the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help is not failure - looking after yourself is the best way you can support your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the death, having had no contact with him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his child and instead give the stability and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - managing the emotions safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they faced their issues, altered how they express themselves, and taught themselves to regulate themselves for their children.

"I'm better… processing things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan says. "I wrote, sometimes I feel like my job is to teach and advise you what to do, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning as much as you are on this path."